Love Wins!

Love wins! I see that everywhere in our church culture today. People are throwing it around like crazy. I see it plastered all over social media and I hear it during conversations. However, I often see this slogan associated with ideologies that look nothing like true love. These are concepts of love that don’t resemble a biblical model for love. Love does win! But this love that wins is not a tolerant, silent, don’t rock the boat type of love. That idea of love will do more to populate hell than bring people into the Kingdom of God. Yes, love wins. However, the love that wins is not the world’s idea of love. The love that wins is not one that cowers to the forces of political correctness. The love that conquers all is not one that bows to the fear of rejection or shrinks back for fear of hurting someone’s feelings. The love that wins is a love that pushes past every fear and risks everything to see the captives set free, the hurting healed, and the broken hearts put back together.

Do you remember the time when John the Baptist chose to remain silent about King Herod’s sin in an effort to keep him as a Facebook friend? And remember the time when Jesus was afraid the woman at the well might be offended so He chose to not address her sin? Of course not, because it didn’t happen. The fact is they both spoke the truth. They didn’t dance around the truth for fear of being rejected or hurting someone’s feelings. Scripture tells us that perfect love casts out all fear (I John 4:18). Those who allow the fear of being rejected to keep them from speaking the truth are deceiving themselves if they think they are truly walking in love. That is not love.

A perverted idea of what love looks like has crept into our modern church culture. Perhaps, it’s because we’ve seen the Word of God so often used as a hammer to condemn rather than a tool to set people free. I know because at one time I was pretty good at hammering away at other people. I’m concerned, however, that in an effort to insure this doesn’t happen, we’ve swung the pendulum way too far to the other side. The result, of course, is an approach at love that is as far off as the perverted love we are so desperately trying to avoid. Neither approach represents the love that Jesus modeled for us. Real love is not afraid of rejection. It is less concerned about winning and keeping friends and more concerned about reconciling people back to God. Trust me, God will not pat you on the back because you were able to maintain friends on this earth. Nowhere in Scripture are we commanded to see how many Facebook friends we can acquire and keep in this life. Scripture tells us that as believers we’ve been tasked with the ministry of reconciling mankind back to God.

Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God.

(II Corinthians 5:18-20 NKJV)

While we want people to like us, it is far more important to focus on bringing people into a relationship with their Creator than trying to maintain a superficial relationship with them. Can you see how utterly selfish it is, when one would rather hold onto a relationship than risk rejection in order for that person to be reconciled to God? I’m not indicating that we set out to anger and tick people off. That is not love. I’m simply making the point that if we are afraid of speaking the truth because someone might get a little upset with us, then our fear of rejection is our driving force rather than love.

Love is a risk. Love is always a risk. Jesus left the glory of heaven to roll up His sleeves and get knee deep into our mess. He didn’t stand afar off and leave us on our own. He didn’t ignore our sin, and He sure didn’t come to tolerate it. No, He didn’t come to condemn us, but He presented us with the truth. He left it up us to receive it or reject it. That truth contained in it the power to set us free. However, it ran the risk of ticking us off and offending us. He ran the risk of putting Himself out there to be completely rejected by humanity. Love is a risk because the nature of love is freedom. It isn’t controlling and restrictive. Those who love, offer others the freedom to reject them. Therefore, to truly walk in love, one cannot fear the possibility of rejection.

Many have been deceived into thinking that it’s compassionate to not want to hurt someone’s feelings or offend them. Nothing could be further from the truth. The reality is that it shows an enormous lack of compassion and love, to withhold the truth. Think about this for a second. The truth sets people free (John 8:32). God, Himself, declares that the truth has the power to set the captive free. How could withholding that truth ever be considered love? Sin destroys. It enslaves and ultimately brings death. Why wouldn’t we do whatever it took to rescue those headed for destruction? If someone was drowning in the water, wouldn’t you throw them a lifesaver? Choosing to withhold the truth is like watching someone drown and doing nothing to save them. Can you picture this? Someone is drowning and there you are on the shore with a life preserver in your hand worrying if they are going to be ticked off if you throw it underhanded or overhanded. I guess you could just pray for them and that way at least you don’t run the risk of offending them, right? That’s ludicrous and we all know it. Yet we do it all the time when we withhold the truth from those who desperately need to hear it.

Confronting sin in other’s lives does not have to be done in a judgmental and condemning way. When done correctly it is actually helping others to avoid judgement. Yes, it can be done wrong, and we’ve seen it done wrong way too often. We’ve seen the Word of God used as a tool to condemn rather than rescue. Going back to the analogy of one drowning, they don’t need to hear how foolish they were for getting in this situation. They just need someone to care that they are drowning. They need someone who will do whatever it takes to help them out. Again, just because we’ve seen the mishandling of the truth, we cannot allow that to prevent us from speaking the truth.

Regardless of how the Gospel has been used, it still contains the power to save. It contains the only power to set the captives truly free. For the love of God and for the love of humanity, throw out the life preserver! Speak the truth! Move past the cultural deception that paints a perverted picture of what love is. Move past the fear that paralyzes you and demands you to just sit down and shut-up. Move past that fear and the lies that are trying to convince you that if you say anything it’s only going to offend. If you truly love the way God loves, you must be willing to have conversations that are uncomfortable. Uncomfortable for you and uncomfortable for others. If you love others, there are times when you have to be willing to engage in conversations that run the risk of hurting someone’s feelings. That's the kind of love that wins!

this is an excerpt from the book, "Yep, Even That One: a believer's guide to loving your neighbor" - available here on Amazon.com

Tim is the lead pastor at Westlake Fellowship in Montgomery, Texas. If you live in the area, join us Sunday mornings at 10:30 am at 19786 Hwy 105 Suite 120 in Montgomery (beside Magnolia Diner).

For more on this topic of loving others, watch the video below: